There is much to be said for the benefits of practical action. The demons of perfectionism are exorcised by rolling up one’s sleeves and making a go of it. At a certain point in the frustrating endeavor of trying to accomplish anything in the disorder of the fallen world, most people will surrender their dreams of perfection in favor of just getting something done.
Moving from the realm of ideas into the brawl of living flesh is key to progress. This shift in focus will also begin the path of routines to tame the more unbearable messes of life that occur with cyclic inevitability. It seems we must all eat and have clean clothing if we are to function in a civil manner.
Where, then, does one make a beginning? Unprepared by upbringing and education, many a mother is left bewildered by mess. There is a terrible sense of hopelessness that motherhood is all tidying while a destructive toddler follows behind methodically undoing one’s work. It need not be so.
Choosing a specific spot of chronic disfunction or discomfort is a surefire way to get the ball rolling. It has to be specific. Vaguely casting one’s gaze along piles of soiled garments, crumbs on the floor, and grime in the sink will likely only plunge the beholder into further abstracted angst. Starting five projects or a detailed cleaning schedule might overwhelm. Just pick one spot.
As the events of any given day will result in dirty dishes, this is a fine place to start. People often refer to the infamous “sink full of dishes,” but this assumes that the dishes made it to the sink, something that does not occur on its own. Throughout the day, one must diligently transport the dirty dishes to a central location, logically the sink. Here is the reason for choosing a sole project of improvement: it can be top of mind throughout the day as the one item getting addressed just now to improve life for everyone.
What to do once you have a full sink?
There is a temptation to handwringing and proclaiming that we don’t know how to do xyz, but there are, in fact, detailed tutorials on even the most basic functions of household maintenance. As mothers seeking help from other mothers sadly often run into acrimonious comparison, one might opt for instruction from someone who is not a woman in the same stage of life. You can even watch a video of a mustachioed man explaining strategies for washing dishes by hand. Great stuff!
Once the dishes are clean, adherents of Marla Cilley, the FlyLady, swear by shining the sink. In order to shine the sink, of course, the dishes must be out of it. Cilley explains, “It is so simple; I want you to have a sense of accomplishment! You have struggled for years with a cluttered home and you are so beaten down. I just want to put a smile on your face. When you get up the next morning, your sink will greet you, and a smile will come across your lovely face.”
Whether or not you ascribe to Cilley’s system of home management, she successfully guides her devotees on the path of virtue. She says that implementing successful routines “is the result of tiny changes over several months.” Begin with the choice to get the dishes done each night and the chaos will begin to subside. Take practical action and good will follow.
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