In an interview, I described travel as “the idol of our age.” Was I being hyperbolic? Always. However, such a description is not without merit. The obsession for many people of our time is travel. And high-end food. When asked about what people in their 20s and 30s enjoy, nine times out of 10, they will reply with a canned answer about how much they enjoy travel and fancy dining.
How awkward to find oneself at a dinner surrounded by people with a solid decade of vacations under their belt. Fishing for something to discuss, they may ask, “Have you been to Osaka?” (or Mexico City, or the Philippines, or Brazil, or Machu Picchu, or any other exotic destinations….) When the answer to every single one is “no,” one must nimbly steer the conversation to avoid being a total flop. Thankfully this is easy, because one can simply ask them about where they have been and where they are going next. Guaranteed conversation for ten minutes at least.
People love to complain about the cost of living, which is valid to a point. But there have been plenty of rough patches before this, notably the Great Depression and the economic stagnation of the 1970s. Young adults at that time did not expect to have discretionary income for eating sushi and taking 10-day trips to Greece. Those were luxuries not on the radar of middle-class Americans it seems.
Why the obsession with travel and food? We could consider if maximizing material goods is a response to the felt but uncomprehended loneliness with which so many of us are afflicted. Perhaps, at its core both passions are a way of having things to look forward to. You have to research and schedule a trip. It looms invitingly on the horizon. And the same with fancy food. Finding out what to eat and where. Getting the reservation and going out. All steps to build anticipation and savor the thrill of looking forward.
It is entirely within the realm of possibility to recalibrate what we look forward to, though. Once we’ve set a societal precedent of dropping $5k on a big trip as the standard for what is worthy of looking forward to it seems impossible, but people are so much more adaptable than we realize. Scheduling a five-dollar outing to a new coffee shop? It can be just as satisfying as working up to an international trip.
Have an itch for the spoils of consumer culture? Try the public library! While much of the library system is devolving into ugly children’s books, stacks of romance novels, and walls of i-Pads, there remain good, historic books on the shelves. For the sake of preserving some semblance of culture, we all have a duty to keep these good books in circulation. Regularly putting items on hold has all the mechanics of an online shopping spree, while roaming the shelves returns the satisfaction of strolling the aisles of a favorite store. All the fun of buying with none of the remorse.
Beyond these, even the simplest pleasures can infuse excitement to the daily doings of life. A new kind of tea to brew at home? Music you haven’t listened to before, rewatching a beloved musical, a new linen blouse, a spa-like shower after everyone else is bed, monthly book club. If our focus is on big ticket items worth bragging about to strangers, we dull our senses to the exquisite small joys of living that continually offer experiences and events to look forward to.
Laura Vanderkam, time management expert and mother of 5, is an advocate of seasonal lists to increase savoring throughout the year. You can include extravagant outings and activities on the list, but you can just as easily craft a list of free or inexpensive ones. And the list will likely be no less satisfying.
The limitless horizon of eternity is the ultimate goal to look forward to and incorporate into our daily lives. Small pleasures offer plenty to look forward to if we practice attunement to what is right in front of us. No airline miles required.
