It is with great pleasure that we welcome Megan Madden, wife, mother, and author–and the advocate for timeless femininity behind A Mother’s Lace. I invited Megan to write a guest post because I know her to be as lovely in person as she appears online. What looks effortless is the result of prayer, forethought, and intentionally developed habits. Here she shares a glimpse into the daily life of a homeschooling mother who strives to live with gratitude and joy:
Building A Legacy of Love: Small Moments in Motherhood and Family Culture
My husband left for work early that morning and I began my day with a coffee and the rosary, smiling as I looked towards the rays of sun streaming through my kitchen window. Sunshine is unusual in the winter months in England. It immediately put me in a good mood. The older children had breakfast and began their homeschool studies while I checked off various tasks in my planner and then went to put my toddler down for a nap. The day was going smoothly. But of course, as mothers, we know some days begin smooth and end roughly; some days we count our wins, and some days we feel like absolutely nothing in the world was done.
This day began smoothly but devolved into an array of unfortunate events: the toddler deciding not to nap, homeschool tasks not fully completed, a glass jar for paint brushes dropped and shattered on the floor, and pots and pans were pulled out of kitchen cabinets to be used as drums by tiny hands experimenting with sound. Who else has been there?
I knew by lunchtime there was no amount of sunshine that could exalt my sour mood. I felt stressed, overwhelmed, and overstimulated… but I did not want the children to feel that. So I took a moment to myself. I went into my bedroom. I said a prayer. I asked for the grace of patience, cheerfulness, and joy, and then messaged my husband and asked him to say a prayer for me too. I took a deep breath, headed back downstairs and said, “Well children, this wasn’t exactly the day we had planned but let’s make the most of it! Let’s wrap up school and play outside for a bit before dinner time.”
We played, we put on folk music, we cooked, we tidied, and the day ended with a candlelit family dinner with a table full of smiling faces. It did not feel like a “win” in the moment, but I knew in that first deep breath that I had died to myself, and the Lord provided a way out.
The Power To Set The Tone
This is the power of motherhood. We have the power to set the tone. To create a space of warmth, to foster love and cheerfulness within the home or turn things around for better or for worse. But we all have our difficult days and we need God’s grace to do it. Some of those days may turn into difficult seasons, but I suggest these challenges are not all that problematic. Rather, they are a realistic rhythm of daily life that all of us have to face, including our children as they get older. How we manage trials sets the stage for a family environment, each small moment as a stitch in a tapestry woven into a story of a family; a formation of a family culture.
I would argue that we have a particularly weighty role as women in creating this culture. No matter our occupation—whether we work outside the home, in the home, or are professional homemakers, we are called to create a home environment that is a safe haven for our family. We are called to turn a house into a home, to bring warmth, gentleness, presence, patience, and order to our days of motherhood.
It’s within the more trying moments that perseverance grows. Then patience expands, we are called outside of self, and reminded just how needy and weak we are—just how much we need the Lord to carry us and pour His graces out on our family. We may not always feel like we are growing in holiness in these small daily moments. We may not feel like the small act of simply smiling at our children does anything at all. But it does. And it is powerful.
The Weight of A Small Moment
That warm smile (even if forced initially) draws children into the safe haven of love a home is meant to embody. Sometimes motherhood feels wildly overwhelming and we need to do something a little extra to give our smile. My go-to quick helps for turning around my day are putting on folk music, lighting a candle or diffusing, making a special drink (usually a fancy coffee or herbal tea), or voice messaging a good friend. Sometimes we need to take a moment for ourselves in order to reset and be ready to give again.
Once we reset, we can then build up. We can remember to say the small, quick prayer at the kitchen sink that carries us forward. We can say a hectic family rosary, reminded that this is exactly how to teach our children to pray. We can look at the toys scattered across the floor as an opportunity to bring order. We can cook a meal knowing it will bless our family, and set our table with beauty in mind. All of these are small acts of love. Small services, and in many instances small sacrifices of a mother who is building up the cathedral of her home. Nothing goes unseen by God, nothing goes unnoticed. In our daily tasks we are not simply serving our family members, but serving Jesus within them.
Intentional Family Culture
Over the years I have written out what I hope for our family culture. My goal is to keep life slower, so as not to be overstressed, and to keep Sunday holy with a giant family feast. Beautiful cutlery, burning candles, background music, even inviting other family friends over to join us on Sundays. I also hope to have a multitude of good books lying around for my husband, myself, and my children to pick up and read at any given time. To work slowly around the home—and when that work starts to feel mundane or stressful to take a moment and remember that I am doing it for Christ in them. To avoid the rush to the next thing and be present. To look into my children’s eyes when they speak to me and delight in them. To give my children my words—words of encouragement, gentle but firm discipline, to educate them in virtue and apologize when I fail them (which happens often!).
We all have hopes for our family, and in the end the goal is to get everyone to Heaven, to be holy mothers who perform our small tasks with great love. We hope to be faithful wives, to be present to our children, to grow into thoughtful homemakers. Our culture today is starving for family life. So I end with this, dear mothers: your work is a profound one. By each small task, service, death to self, and act of love, you are changing the world by building a legacy of love within the home.
Megan Madden is a wife to a theologian, mum of 6, and author of the books Mary, Teach Me To Be Your Daughter: Finding Yourself in the Blessed Mother and Through Storms and Still Waters: Finding Union With Christ in Suffering (forthcoming 2025) with Ascension Press. You can find her on Instagram writing about faith, femininity, and her own small moments of motherhood @amotherslace.
