Phones, tablets, and television are a subject on which many parents have caved. Like sugar and junk food, many people have convinced themselves the struggle is too great, the chances of “success” (whatever that looks like) too slim. May as well give in and let them absorb passive entertainment!
It’s still worth fighting the good fight. Anyone who has observed the behavior of the same child watching television and not, the effects are undeniable. Life is better without regular use of technological screens.
Many people like to “tsk” anyone advocating for low-tech childhood, chiding that you can’t just pretend it’s the 1990s. Well, of course you can’t! But you can act like it’s 2024 and find activities to do that do not involve phones, video games, computers, or tablets. Putting in more activity crowds out the time that would be spent absorbing passively.
In fact, so simple in our habits are we that we tend to do the same things over again most days. Once you set up a life without screens, you may go long stretches of time without so much as a movie night simply because it’s no longer on the menu and front of mind.
The real key to success is not only setting up your own life this way but finding friends who are doing the same.
If you’re not going to eat breakfast looking at a screen, zone out with screens after lunch, put on screens while making dinner, and watch screens before bed, what do you do with your kids all day?
- Read books- Naturally, my first recommendation is to read aloud. It is such a boon to family harmony, general enjoyment, and language development that this is the first choice when moving away from screens. If you are too busy to read aloud: first, rearrange your life to reflect the proper ordering of activities; second, while you take care of that, put on an audiobook recording. Much better than TV!
- Go for a walk- Getting out for a walk, or bike ride, or scootering usually changes everyone’s demeanor. There are endless ideas for increasing time outside and harnessing the benefits those bring.
- Play games- Once phones are in control, other past times fade. It’s not 1994, but you can still play Go Fish, Uno, Sorry, and all the other card games and board games that people used to enjoy. People have not changed. Phones have changed. The games are still fun!
- Sing songs- This is dangerous territory, because you likely access music through a phone or computer. One option is to get a five-dollar CD player from the thrift store and enjoy the vast CD collection of the public library. If you use a phone, however, engage the music, don’t consume. The quality of our singing is a product of experience for most people. By singing along with songs, we will all become better singers and more engaged in reality.
- Let them be bored- Do you remember playing the game in which you hang upside down on the couch and pretend that the ceiling is the floor? What fun! Only children with nothing else to do will discover this game (and somehow they all do). There is a point when boredom becomes a destructive force. At that point, supplying structure and accountability is necessary. Before then, benign neglect is the name of the game.
Children have not fundamentally changed. The way we treat them as a culture has changed, objectively for the worse. But hope springs eternal. As ever, we should drown evil in a sea of good things. Yanking all the techy stuff out of the house will only end in frustration. Ignoring techy stuff while we engage in some of the many enjoyable activities that make up a life of leisure will yield success.
