Ah, our most annoying child. I have thoroughly neglected that person in distress, which, of course, is precisely how he or she becomes even more distressing. Six months ago, I began a series on helping your most annoying child. Our children’s behavior is, ultimately, not our responsibility, but there are many physical and emotional needs that manifest as irritating and antisocial behavior. When possible, cultivating the habits to address these aspects of communal life can make a world of difference. If you, as the parent, cannot enjoy your child, unfortunately it is likely that no one will.
If you have a child frequently on edge, whining shrilly at the slightest provocation, bursting into tears for no apparent reason, or frequently peeing his pants…he might be constipated.
Now, why constipation? This is a topic that I do not relish. How could anyone? But since I have broached the subject of defecation on this platform, I thought it was a sign that I address this sad fact of modern living.
Too often, the elephant in the room is, unfortunately, not Eleanor the Elegant Elephant. Though, in this case for many a poor lad or lass the elephant in the room is, in fact, very large. The elephant in the room is an expanded colon due to chronic, shall we say, withholding.
It’s becoming more apparent that our diet of soft and squishy food are contributing to distorting our children’s palates and leading to all kinds of issues breathing and fitting teeth in their mouth. I’ve heard it less commonly noted that those same soft and squishy foods, along with that emblematic suburban meal for children of fried chicken with catsup, has also led to some downstream effect, none of them too pleasant.
After a decade of mothering and a decade before that of babysitting and assisting the elderly, I’ve reluctantly come to the conclusion that constipation is one of the most powerful forces of ill in bodily health and happiness in the home.
The two most common signs of chronic constipation in children seem to be: ongoing pee accidents long after successful potty-training and prolonged nighttime bedwetting. Also, for some: recurrent UTIs. There is a remarkable plot twist: Going every day does not mean the child is not constipated. A mass sometimes builds up. Let that sink in. Excellent cartoon illustrations available if you still have questions.
This is not a pleasant topic, but if you keep an ear out for it, it’s all over. The four-year-old with so many wet undies people worry about diabetes. Mothers will whisper with great concern about what one does with an older child still afflicted with nighttime bedwetting. Is it just a deep sleep? The urologists say it can be normal up to age 12. 12??
The reason for bringing up all this uncomfortable discussion is to offer a possible solution. At the memorably-named BedwettingAndAccidents.com, you can find an introduction to the work of pediatric urologist Steve Hodges, M.D.
The author of the book “It’s No Accident,” Dr. Hodges has brought the work of Sean O’Regan, M.D, to a new generation of constipated kids. May you never need the “protocol” he devised, but know that it is there for you should a crabby kid require it. Dr. Hodge has adapted it for the modern parent with lots of eye-catching visuals for kids to understand what might be going on. For some, pediatric enemas change lives.
Obviously, get a doctor if you need one, but in short:
General principles to avoid constipation:
Fiber and fat. Keep things moving!
Rituals. The daily caring for mind and body benefits from soothing rituals, moments of quiet, predictable downtime.
A good sense of humor.
